Fix Me
by wixley-kryptonese
Summary: oh woe upon those that should hack Natalia Romanov's file/ soulmate au, widowed engineer, tw: attempted suicide


Leopold Fitz never met his soul-mate up until the time he found out about Natasha Romanoff.

It had just been an innocent search during his downtime, using the laptop he'd made from scratch. Because of that, it didn't register as a computer or any kind of device. So, it wasn't until over fifty-seven hours after he typed it in, did security come running. But by then he had finished reading it over. Multiple times. He knew more than even her handler, Agent Coulson did.

Of course, they informed her, which sent her his way after the week of interrogations.

She pinned him to the wall of his apartment, looking at him viciously.

"If you are чертов working for someone, I'll rip out your проклятый горло! Why did you search me?"

His eyes widened, both from the use of language and the literal use of language. He felt an itch where his soul-mark was situated and knew it wasn't a coincidence. But she continued to speak, threatening him in both Russian and English. He understood it perfectly, due to having learnt Russian as a child, wanting to know what the Cyrillic words meant.

She continued to speak when he did not, too scared to do anything. This was Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow – his _soulmate_.

And he knew her Mark had been burnt off.

* * *

The next time they met was after the fall of HYDRA, in the Playground. The 'real SHIELD', aka Captain America's SHIELD, aka the Sentient World Observation and Response Department, aka SWORD, had agreed to get along with them, two organizations working together but still two divisions.

Of course, the Avengers were their own force of nature, but naturally they answered to both Steve Rogers and Phil Coulson. They had been pretty angry over Phil's 'being alive' status though.

Fitz was standing with Skye in the kitchen, watching the Avengers all talk with Phil, when Natasha finally saw him.

"You." Her eyes filled with venom. Phil immediately smiled.

"That's Fitz, our engineer and one of my most loyal agents. Come on over, Fitz."

Fitz immediately shook his head, looking at the kitchen counter-top, trying to force words out. Of all the times to have a relapse.

"I don't, I don't…uh, Skye, what's the, what's the word?" He said in a thicker-than-normal Scottish accent, looking at Skye with his face pained. "I don't…" He didn't give her a chance to reply as he growled, leaving. His patience had already been tested by Jemma leaving again, joining SWORD after meeting her soul-mate in Captain bloody America and Mack-

He just couldn't take it. He'd wanted to prove himself to his soul-mate before speaking to her, telling her she'd said his words. But Fitz was a wreck – why would she want him anyway? He was damaged, and stupid, and he'd seen her file-

Upon reaching his room, he locked the door both electronically and with his homemade bolt and sat against it. All his life he'd wanted to impress his soul-mate, but she hated him, even though he'd never said a word to her. Tears started to roll down his cheeks. She wouldn't want him, not ever. _Maybe I can save her the pain by just letting go_ , the thought came unbidden, but…Fitz somehow liked the idea. _Yes, I'll save her the feeling of thinking her soul-mate betrayed her before they even met_.

He stood, going to his bathroom and getting inside, locking and bolting the door and using a toothpick to break the miniscule camera in the corner of the ceiling. Almost immediately a short alarm blared, and he knew he didn't have much time. He'd broken the camera before, when he had to distract himself, but once Skye found out she had made it so a siren would go off if he broke it again.

Taking out his razor, he started to shakenly make himself bleed. _She's better off without me_.

* * *

Skye bit her lip as Fitz ran out. There was a short silence before Steve Rogers spoke.

"So that's Fitz…Jemma said he was getting better."

Tony Stark gave Phil a look. "What's wrong with him?"

Jemma herself spoke up quietly. "Cerebral hypoxia – he went without oxygen for a long time. Agent Ward ejected the two of us out of the Bus in a medical pod. We sunk to the bottom of the ocean, and while I was unconscious Fitz devised a way to get us out – but I'm a better swimmer. He gave me a burst of oxygen when we detonated a window, and then I had to get us both to the surface. He…he was getting better. I don't know why he would act like this."

Skye swallowed. "Have you seen his soul-mark, Jemma?"

Jemma's eyes widened. "No – have you?"

Skye nodded. "Yeah, and uh, I can take a pretty good guess as to who it is-" a siren started to go off, Skye's eyes widening in fear. "He broke the camera again!" Immediately she started to run off, Phil's eyes widening in horror.

"Oh no." He got up, only to be paused by Clint's hand on his shoulder.

"What's happening?"

Phil looked at him fearfully. "Fitz only breaks the camera in his bathroom when he's hurting himself. We need to go stop him."

* * *

Natasha wasn't usually so scared at such words, but as soon as Phil said them her heart thudded. Running in the direction that Agent Skye had, she quickly caught up, joining her outside a door labelled 'Fitz'.

"Fitz!" Skye banged on the door as she put her lanyard to the lock. It beeped green, but the door didn't open. "Fitz! Please come out! Fitz!" The base started to tremble, and Natasha, having been informed of Skye's powers a little earlier, pushed her away and kicked the door straight off its hinges, making it open in the opposite direction. Skye rushed in, going towards another door which Natasha deduced was the bathroom.

"Fitz! Fitz, please come out!" Skye used her lanyard again, but once more it didn't open. "Fitz!"

"Get out of the way." Natasha ordered, before kicking the door off its hinges again, the door banging against the toilet behind it. Fitz caught her eyes in the mirror before turning, arm red and weeping, other hand shaking as he tumbled forwards, trying to shut the door.

"Agent Fitz." She said in an oddly-caught voice. "You need to calm down." Her heart thudded again, harder, as she easily pushed the door open wide enough for her to slip in. Taking the bloody razor off him, she ripped an arm off his black shirt, which he'd rolled up and wrapped it tightly around the deep cuts. Her arm itched suspiciously before she saw small, black writing on his upper arm. It was clumped together in an odd way, one she recognized hazily in the back of her mind as she read the words there.

 _If you are чертов working for someone, I'll rip out your проклятый горло! Why did you search me?_

Her eyes froze, not finishing reading what was there – because she remembered saying those very words to the agent in front of her. Her green orbs switched to his blue ones, seeing the redness. Her hand came up to brush away the tears on his cheeks, mesmerised.

This was her _soul-mate_.

"Are you going to say anything at all to me, Leopold?" She murmured. "I would like to know what my words used to spell out."

His eyes widened before he started to struggle pointlessly. She trapped him against the wall, not caring how his blood stained her shirt and jeans, pressing her form up against his as she kissed him lightly. When she pulled away, she saw him staring at her in a different way from before. Disbelief was the main feeling though.

"W-w-why would y-you w-want m-m-me?" He stuttered, for a reason completely different from cerebral hypoxia.

She didn't answer as she took his other hand, pulling him out of his bathroom, using his confusion to her advantage as they passed Skye, who wordlessly led her to the medical bay. Once there, Natasha saw Bruce already waiting with the needed supplies, the rest of the Avengers and Phil's team waiting anxiously around the room. Natasha sat Fitz down, sitting beside him as Bruce took his arm, fixing him up patiently.

"Why?" He asked again shortly.

Natasha looked away at his question, to Bruce, who had cleaned the cuts and was putting tight bandages around them. When he finished, Skye immediately stepped forward and hugged her soul-mate tightly, making Natasha feel slightly jealous.

"Never do that again." Skye cried into the collar of his shirt. Fitz finally looked away from Natasha, eyes going to Skye's head before he hugged her lightly, visibly cringing on moving his hurt arm.

Phil, who had quietly spoken to Bruce, came over and caught Fitz eyes. "What were you trying to do, Fitz? According to Dr Banner, you nicked a few veins – on purpose."

Natasha's eyes narrowed at his words, gaze going to Fitz, to whom Skye had pulled away from. Everyone was looking at Fitz, she noted as he looked around nervously, gaze flicking to her only once before it disappeared.

"None of your business." He finally spoke, before getting off the bed and dodging the hands that tried to grab him. He – to Natasha's surprise – even managed to leave.

Silence filled the med-bay, before Skye looked to Natasha. "Go after him."

She didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

Why did she kiss him? He asked himself the question over and over again as he hid in the storage room. He was nothing – she was an Avenger. Just, why?

He heard the door open, and immediately felt an itch on his arm. Knowing it was Natasha, Fitz shut his eyes.

"Leopold?" Her voice drifted across the room. He didn't usually like how people called him by his full first name, but when she did…it was unique, how she made it feel normal. "Where are you? Can we talk, please?"

He couldn't help himself from making a noise meaning 'no', which led to her finding him less than ten seconds later. Upon seeing her again, he looked away, hearing her footsteps come closer until she was in front of him.

"Leopold Fitz, look at me right now." She ordered quietly. He looked, and a few seconds later, they were kissing again – though this time, Fitz reciprocated. Somehow, she ended up against the wall, his chest pressed up against hers as they kissed hungrily.

Then he accidentally brushed his arm against hers, hissing.

They stopped kissing. Natasha looked up the little distance she had to, silently asking.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke roughly.

"I didn't think you'd want me." There was a beat, before she slapped him soundly.

"Don't ever say that again. If you do, I promise to go through with my threat."

* * *

Clint stared.

"What the fuck do you mean I'm going to be an uncle?!"


End file.
